clarity

February 2011 has been the most stressful and conflict-filled month of my life. The stress I’m quite used to, but the conflicts are something else.

I never thought that moving to a bigger firm means having to adjust to a lot of different types of people. I have had countless, and I mean countless, arguments with several account officers all throughout this whole project. I know that I really should not take them seriously, but the fact that it happens a lot of times in one day, in one week, in one month, was just too much to handle. People will always tell you, especially from the outside, that you just have to let go. But it is hard when you are the one arguing with this people. I guess I was just raised by my mother to be strong and to always stand my ground especially when I know I am right. The past few years has taught me to not allow people to just shout at me and bully me around. These are the things I had to deal with daily especially for the past two weeks.

What hurts me more is the fact that people in our office still has the time to criticize our team, when they can just help us. Because all that we are doing is to earn income for the company. They see us working so hard until late at night, they know that we stayed in the office until 530am, they know that we were missing lunches, but they still gossip about us. About me. They check my facebook posts and status every freaking day. They interrogated me about the details of the trip I had last weekend. They made me feel guilty about posting a comment ‘f*ck corporate slavery’ on my facebook account (I posted this out of stress and frustration). They told me that as an officer of the company I should not have posted it. They had to tell people at the office that one of them (a boss) scolded me about it. For a day, I thought I was going to lose my job. And they did all of these while we were working so hard, for all of us to earn our salaries. But my team assured me that our boss will understand, and that he will not care. They’re trying to control my social life. They become quiet when I walk into the pantry and when I pass by them. I felt so bad about the whole thing. But after a while, I just laughed at the whole situation.

But despite all of this, I gained new friends. I found out that I have been hanging out with the wrong people. I discovered that the people from the other side of the floor, the people who invited me to the trip last weekend, were so nice and so much fun to be with. I know they will have something to say about it. But I don’t care anymore. I will not waste my time with people who do not appreciate me and who can not be trusted. Moreover, the whole situation has bonded our team. It makes going to work so much easier now. I love our team now. I love my boss now.

February is over. Summer is here. April will be a jam-packed month filled with beach trips with the people I love. :)